ITS NOT THE END!

Everything will work out in the end! If it's not working out, ITS NOT THE END!

An angel ?

well... as you know i'm not the fanatic religeous type of person.. but well i was reading up on the brick testament ealier.. a very cute lego version of the bible..(link found in ash's blog) and i went out of the room to get some fresh air and it was getting extremely windy.. and as i was staring into the sky i saw a cloud shaped like some sort of an angel well it could have been that my mind was in tuned into the whole thing abt religeon again but well as of now i choose to believe that it was not a martian of any sort but an angel lol yup.. and i questioned what is the meaning of this ? is this a sign ? a sign to what ?

The 1st pic


The 2nd pic


The 3rd pic

moving foward... moving on..

i saw one of my friend's facebook post and it wrote: "Everything happens for a reason. People change so you can learn how to let go. Things go wrong so you appreciate them when they're right. You believe lies, so you trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."

well.. its true and one thing yeoh told me before... time is moving forward.. cant possibly just stand there while the whole world is still moving forward of course it will be best if we could move a bit a head of time.. but at least the best is follow the world and move on.... forward....

Shinedown - Second chance

My eyes are open wide
And by the way, I made it
Through the day
I watched the world outside
By the way, I'm leaving out
Today

Well, I just saw hailey's
Comet TRUELY!
Said why you always running
In place?
Even the man in the
Moon disappears
Somewhere in the
Stratosphere

[Chorus]
Tell my mother,
Tell my father
I've done the best I can
To make them realise
This is my life
I hope they understand
I'm not angry, I'm just saying...
Sometimes goodbye
Is a second chance

Please don't cry
One tear for me
I'm not afraid of
What I have to say
This is my one and
Only voice
So listen close, it's
Only for today

Well, I just saw hailey's
Comet shooting
Said why you always running
In place?
Even the man in the
Moon disappears
Somewhere in the
Stratosphere

[Chorus]
Tell my mother,
Tell my father
I've done the best I can
To make them realise
This is my life
I hope they understand
I'm not angry, I'm just saying...
Sometimes goodbye
Is a second chance

Heres my chance
This is my chance

Tell my mother,
Tell my father
I've done the best I can
To make them realise
This is my life
I hope they understand
I'm not angry, I'm just saying...
Sometimes goodbye
Is a second chance

Sometimes goodbye
Is a second chance [x2]

Megadeth - Trust

Lost in a dream
Nothing is what it seems
Searching my head
For the words that you said
Tears filled my eyes
As we said our last goodbyes
The sad scene replays
Of you walking away

My body aches from mistakes
Betrayed by lust
We lied to each other so much
That in nothing we trust

Time and again
She repeats lets be friends
I smile and say yes
Another truth bends,
I must confess

I try to let go, but I know
Well never end til were dust
We lied to each other again
But I wish I could trust

My body aches from mistakes
Betrayed by lust
We lied to each other so much
That in nothing we trust

God help me please, on my knees
Betrayed by lust
We lied to each other so much
Now there's nothing we trust

How could this be happening to me
I'm lying when I say, trust me
I cant believe this is true
Trust hurts
Why does trust equal suffering

Absolutely nothing we trust..

Tick tick tick...

yup... found ticks on skinky.. lots of them.. i removed 1 fat 1 last night and just removed another 5 lol damn... hope he survives... his right ear is a bit swollen tho... hope he stays healthy... :/

going back soon...

well thats good news... i've cleared my results for sem 2.. here's the list

Unit Score Grade

FDN 105 Structure thought and reality ---- 51 -------- Pass

MAS 183 Statistical analysis and database - 55 -------- Pass

PEC 103 Introduction to forensic science -- 60 -------- Credit

PEC 140 Introduction to Chemistry --------- 71 -------- Distinction

hehe.... very very lucky... the 1st 2 most worried subjects.. barely scraped through.... well my life so far... haha got stuck outside the house 1 night or rather morning.. because i went to ivans place to cook then after that we watched iron man on his computer till abt 3 am and i didn't bring my keys because our front door was supposedly spoilt... so when i tried to enter from the glass door it was locked... lol eventually i called security to help me unlock... haha... well.... i have a question.... what if i liked this girl and i wanted to chase her... but then suddenly one day, say..... i dreamt of "the past" and it kinda gave me the feeling that i shouldn't chase anymore ? i say "the past" because it involved ppl frm the past but it was not actual history.. it was a totally modified version an unreal construct of my personal mind abt current affairs.. abt 8 more days till i go back hope i'm able to resolve myself.. and hope everything will run smoothly... YAY I PASS i clear sem 2 !! WHoooooooooo~~~~!! (although i am happy but still worry abt those who didn't make it) :(

hmm... dreams ?

hi all just got back from akido training and was wondering abt dreams... what does it mean when you dream of someone ? y dream ? if your answer is cos u are thinking abt that person too much in a sense of desire... then my question is what if you were thinking of one but dreamt of another ??? hmm........

Bye guys....

yeah so now everyone has left... kobi just left yesterday... lol but oh well still have 2 friends here... and got skinky to keep me company....LOL.. what a lazy bum... just lie there and sun bathe.. lol but his energy level seems lower.. been trying to make him eat and drink.. dunno whats wrong.. and yes kobi.. i changed his name.. fat bastard dont sound too nice. haiz.. days will get better.. :) hopefully..... lol.. *smilez*

wooo hoo !!! Finally Summer...!!!!!

just shifted a few days ago.. yeah... settled my bank things and changed all the address i need to update.. at least of what i can think of.. well kobi has been staying with me.. and he was very nice... brought me to city yesterday and the day before.. LOL had food... good food... and had hashish yesterday LOL... hahahaha... i'm a happy dude... lol long time never had hashish already.. well.. soon he will be leaving a well.. but hell.. i guess.. i never thought i would hear myself say this.. i love it here... never want to go back... as for a tour thing is ok.. but dont think i will STAY there.. well.. hopefully i get bored enough and get a job LOL... will keep posting.. so just keep a watchout... sorry i havent been posting cos had been busy preparing to shift and all.. but at least now everything is more or less settled down... cheers..

life so far..

LOL just opened a junk mail today lol and i found this : But true love is a durable fire, in the mind ever burning, never sick, never
old, and never dead, from itself never turning.
Some people have such big dreams, but all I want is to love you, to wake up
beside you each morning, to feel the warmth of your hand in mine, to share
each moment, good and bad, with you, to lose myself in your loving arms. Some
people want so much out of life, but all I want is to share everything with
you, for us to talk long into the night, to dream together, and experience all
of the little things together that makes life worth living. Yes, I have a big
dream after all. And I want so many things. I want to spend the rest of my life
with the person I love. And I want to give him my love, and to make our home a
place where you always feel warm and welcome, and for us to have a relationship
in which we accept each other for who we are and always find a sweet dream in
each other’s arms. All I want is for us to love each other with unbelievable love. And I do believe that dreams can come true.

LOL weird... well life so far is going good i guess... lol don't sound too convincing eh ? LOL trying to keep mental and physical stuffs under control LOL argh.. the damn urges.. LOL cannot cannot... i already promise to quit already LOL wootz !!! I NEE MORE GUM !!! LOL T.T

The AIR IS FRESHer now... :D

well thanks friends, guys.... esp my gd friend Arz... :)

i dedicate this song to everyone... !!! WOO HOO !!!! THANKS !!! WOOOO !!!

Today's the day.. i dread the most..

it's been like what... a year ? well.. the day i have been planning for has finally arrived... and guess what.. tears flow... once more... been at it for hours.... and here i thought being here will be much better.. well... i guess.. birthdays are gonna be like that for me from now on.. cheers.. future......... yes.. future... that's whats holding me to the ground.. i guess the only gentleman thing i can do is just to give them my blessings and just................

Someone help me please....

PLEASE.. someone HELP ME !!!!!........... please... anyone..... just talk to me.. i'm desperate for a true friend.. please...

What a coincidence...

what a coincidence indeed... today went shopping with kob, sh & kh to stock up on gorceries for the exam period and then didn't notice sh was wearing a necklace.. also dunno y i happen to saw the necklace and i was like OMG..... HELL NO..... its EXACTLY the same thing that i bought for her for her birthday or anniversary i cant remember already... but i do remember 1 thing.. it was bought frm mintmark and co. i'm very sorry sh... i might have sounded harsh.. but yah.. i was just very stunned... its exactly the same necklace... i mean no harm to anyone...

BTW.. check out this band remake metallica song...



Here's the original..

I Can't Study....

I CANT STUDY !!! FUCK !!!!!!! anyone... please... help me..... do anything... talk to me.... whatever.. fuck!.... god.. i really dunno y i just keep doing it over and over.. FINE.. i guess i finally needed to see him.. how he really looks like fine ! FINE ! now what?... i finally saw him.. so how ? i've been feeling like shit... TOTALLY SHIT ! i feel so fucking suicidal... day in day out. good.. i'm happy that u are happy.. but what now ? what the fuck am i doing here !? JUST WHAT THE FUCK AM I HERE FOR ??? shit man i feel like crying again... what can i do ???? what? just what if the book works ? arz.... fuck man... i should carry on ? kor.. i know.... but i'ts REALLY... REALLY.. getting to me...

Dying.....

oh my god.. i think i'm dying... stayed up last night lol and now i'm currently in the library and its like what.... 1 plus going to 2 am? lol yeah at least i managed to catch up on my lectures and finish my stats assignments... and with my injured finger lol still hurts when i'm typing and stuff.. but well it doesn't hurt as much as wednesday haha... so much for judo.. but well good to know that kobi learnt something :) well... seriously....i cant remember what her hair smells like anymore.. and her face is slowly becoming blurly... yes although i still think abt the past day in and day out... but well i guess.. i'm just gonna stick to my scars... as a strong reminder.. :) "Someday I`ll learn to love these scars Still fresh from the red-hot blade of your words" (Nightwish - bye bye beautiful) yep....i have to learn to love these scars.. and yes... your words still cut me like a hot blade on my flesh... :) well although i feel like giving up.. but well i'll try and make the best out of my time here... :) although i dont have something to wrk hard for anymore... the least i can do is just make the best out of the situation i'm in.. :) peace out....

what a day...

haiz... what a day indeed... well today was pretty hot and humid... was kinda like any other day.. except for chem lecture.. lol very interesting ^_^ allan knight brought balloons filled with hydrogen to lecture and demonstrated about how reactions take place and he used a match to blow up the balloons... haha luckly i was prepared i knew it was not as worse as seeing and hearing tanks firing but imagine being in an enclosed room... lol i covered my ears haha.. saw a few ppl jumped with the explosion.. hahaha... and yay i finally managed to pump up my essay plan grade to a pass lol happy... :)) got an extension for my essay date also.. so.. off i go and jia you !! lol.. i'll keep u guys posted.. :) oh yah.. there is this question in my mind... shld i stay with my guilt and not hurt ? or shld i just choose 1 ? don want to make the wrong choice.. agcs..etc ????

Water Themepark

omg.. today was great... totally, extremely, wonderfully awesome. kobi, me, chern, and clarisse went to this water theme park today.. omg man.. they had like rides, and wet rides much like last time's fantasy island but with theme park rides... was a bit shy and uneasy with my top off and just my berms but got used to it after a while..haha.. had sunburns and all there was this ride.. called some barrage thing.. omg it was totally insane. spun you round like roasting some hotdogs... made me like want to puke. we rode on some kiddy rides also haha but it was good enough.. went to sit the viking like dunno how many times.. haha there were like those float rides and all used those mats and all of that stuff really like fantasy island... but well all went well till like when we left.. felt a bit emo again tho. like i recalled the times we went swimming together just the 2 of us and haiz.... well that was over.. oh yah after the outing we wanted to eat kfc but we like missed the stop so in the end we went to bull creek for red roosters and we went back after that.. argh flies everywhere all over your face and stuff... all in all i really enjoied my self... THANK YOU GUYS...... :D you all really made my day... aww man.. what would i do without u all man... !! :) really... once again thanks... :))

Fridays..

yes ! fridays again... had my math test 2 today... felt that i did average- below average.. all i can hope for now is that my efforts paid off.. or will pay off... sigh.... wth could not concentrate the whole day... kept thinking abt the past !!! ARGHHHH !!!!! fuk man..... well at least the 2 tests are over.. skipped fdn tut tho... felt that this week was too much for me to handle but at least i passed my chem... it was released yesterday.. kobi said i got a D but who cares ? at least i pass haha..well , its beer time ! so time to chill for tests are over.. an prep for up coming stuff... pray for me guys.. as in pray for my mind.. LOL dunno what i'm talking already.. but yeah.. time to chill... cheers guys... woo hoo ! where's the beer at ? :D mmm~~~... *glug* *glug* ice cold beer... nice~~ heh heh...

Emo again..

What the hell man.... woke up feeling emo all over again. memories just keep flooding my mind.. no mood for anything.... like... wth man... it was wrong ?? the rs was wrong ??? wrong ?? then y did u stick with me for fucking 5 years ? 5 years was wrong ??? i wasn't for me.. the only thing holding me back from you ever again is your parents.. what more can i say ? i would rather die single than ever hurting myself or anyone ever again... its like i want you but i CANT. i'm like RULED not to now.. fuk whats wrong with me man.. i freaking need to study.. fuck ! c'mon dude ! concentrate.. study ok ? kay.. gd... oh yeah.. guys beware of lizards with blue tounges saw one outside my flat today suprisingly its not poisonous.. take care ok guys ? cheers..

Snakes !

yes.. you heared me right.. snakes.. was walking to campus by the back door when i came across a baby snake.. i think it was a brown snake.. so my dear friends better be careful... its spring and the snakes are emerging.... dont want to get bitten by one... yeah.... had my chemistry test today as well.. well it was definitely more tough than the previous one.. i can only now hope i can pass.. a pass will do.. nothing else.. and my stats test on friday... better hope i can make it.. well wish me luck... i better study hard..

Still got the blues for you...

although it has a malay barber shop tune but its a great song..

Gary moore - Still got the blues

Used to be so easy
To give my heart away
But I found that the hard way
There's a price you have to pay
I found out that love is no friend of mine
I should have known time after time

So long
it was so long ago
But I've still got the blues for you

Used to be so easy
To fall in love again
But I found out the hard way
It's a road that leads to pain
I found that love is more than just a game
Playing to win
But to lose just the same

So long
it was so long ago
But I've still got the blues for you

So many years since I've seen your face
Within my heart
there's an empty space
Where you used to be

So long
it was so long ago
But I've still got the blues for you

Oh the days come and go
There is one thing I know
I've still got the blues for you....

fuked day..

yeah... i guess its bout time i should create a blog.. don't know why people want to put up dairy posts online anyway.. i guess its because they need some one to relate to and understand them.. well, its a good way but question is.. how do you know who ? anyway.. yeah.. my post.. woke up this morning, felt shitty as usual, woke up telling myself (as usual) "well, back to reality..." got everything ready and then got out of the house. i forgot about my breakfast though.. was walking by the same track i take to campus and cos' its spring, the flowers are like blooming all over the place i questioned if i should put up a blog yeah and here i am.. well i mean i had other thoughts as well.. like "with so many flowers if only i had some one to enjoy them with me.." and other stuff... well slept through lecture again. and my lab, yes, we were supposed to do titrations right and my freaking burette failed me.. put the knob to parallel, but only drops came out.. freaking hell.. in the end i was like the last to leave.. freaking tired.. went home, had beer to cool myself down and had dinner with my dear friend kobi.. i cooked some tori katsudon thing while he cooked rice.. it was great.. and yeah.. tomorrow i have a chem test.. yeah so....... wish me all the best. hope that i feel good abt it. and yeah.. i guess see you tomorrow... :) (haiz.... if only my blog was read by the intended person)